Our to-do lists are important. They keep us on track, move us towards our goals, expanding us beyond our wildest dreams and usually, they help us get things done. But lately, my to-do list has become a block to my creativity. I have so much on this list, all of which are important, all of which will move my business forward, that I’m leaving no room for creative expression, for movement, for play. My inner child has been screaming at me in more ways than one and I was so blinded by my to-do list, I heard nothing. Well, let’s be honest here, clearly I CHOSE not to hear her. It felt unproductive listening to her. Taking a nap in the middle of the day, going to look at the ocean and reading a book, drawing, writing, dreaming up what my new apartment would look like, that would all take up too much time, and none of which would grant me the satisfaction of checking off a box on my list.
Today is the first day in weeks where I’ve begun to feel energized and I can’t help but notice that last night, and this morning, I let my inner child create. After a day of feeling the intensified emotions of everything going on astrologically and internally, last night I finally decided to tap into the energy of this Full Moon and Lunar Eclipse and use my hands. I began by remaking my vision board, getting really clear with my order for the Universe even leaving spaces for the things I don’t yet see and know will be given structure soon. Then I went to sleep, utterly exhausted and fully surrendering to the hours my body was asking for. No alarm, I awoke and pushed myself out to work out outside. Energized by the movement, I came back and finished putting together my desk space. I hung pictures I used to not know where they would go, and I created a working environment filled with flowers, color and magic that made my little girl smile from ear to ear.
Despite the amount of time it took, and despite the part of me that felt extremely insecure about how many hours I technically clocked in for today, once I was done and I sat down to write my emails and get the necessities done for the day, my body feels like a different body than it has been. It’s as if listening to my inner child, giving myself permission to exist with her fully for the last 3 hours gave the rest of my body permission to thrive in my work again.
I’m working on listening to her, my inner child, when she wants to play, stopping to play, when she wants to cry, letting her cry. It will take reminding, but knowing that I will thrive even more than I could imagine if I listen to her, if I give myself permission to JUST BE with her, is my motivation. That, and who am I to deny a girl who’s asking for a night of Disney movies?! As I write this I notice a soft pink haze in the skyline, and my girl’s let me know she’s quite pleased as pink is her favorite color. Ew, my mind thinks, I am so not a pink person. But I guess PINK it will be for you sweet girl.