Making Room for Joy

I cannot stop thinking of this line - “Maybe as we get older, there's less room for joy in our lives.” 

A line from Inside Out 2 the movie. I finally got to see the movie that introduced the character Anxiety to us and this line was said by Joy herself about the feelings of Anxiety. It broke my heart, and made me cry which of course means there's truth to it. Anxiety robs us of joy. Anxiety tells us there's something wrong when more often than not it's in our heads. Anxiety does everything it can to prevent disaster which by nature causes disasters that don't necessarily even exist in reality therefore stealing the joy from the experience itself. I believe that's why this line hits so hard. It's showcasing the rather complex emotions that come through us as we age, and as we learn about life's ailments and shortcomings, giving voice to how much harder it can be to access our joy. 

I had breakfast with a friend recently and she said she feels like her life lacks color. She described it as seeing a whole lot of gray and feeling like she's responsible for bringing the color into her family's life. Such a heavy burden to put on herself and yet I know this is the responsibility so many feel.  

I definitely relate to feeling like there's an ebb and flow of joy in many ways. As we age and take on more responsibilities in life, there's fewer moments to ourselves. Less opportunity to practice self-care, to do the things we love. More stress to pay the bills. More overwhelm about state of the world and ongoing unprecedented times.  Personally as a new mama, there's definitely more anxiety than I've experienced in the last decade just by being an alive being on this planet. On the other hand there is so much more joy in life too. My joy looks different than I've ever known it to be, but there's joy in the micro-moments of life. In a way there's less joy and equal amounts more joy in new ways in everyday life.

The responsibility doesn't lie on us to make sure others experience joy, though it is our responsibility to make room for the joy in our own lives. Then as it goes with all healing work, when we feel the joy within ourselves, it often ripples out from us onto those around us. If it's feeling like there's less room for joy, it's each of our responsibility to take joy by the hands and create space for it back in our lives.  It's up to you to make the space for joy. Life is so full of difficult responsibilities. Hard truths. Painful moments. Stressful conversations and confrontations. Hurt people hurting people. All of which are going to steal your joy away. But if you're constantly making room for joy, you will experience it amongst the hardship. 

Maybe it is true that as we get older, joy feels harder to access consistently. But I don't think it's true that there's less room for joy. It doesn't have to be true that there is less room for it. It's just a question of what emotion are you allowing room for? Is there more anxiety than joy? Are you making room for more sadness, anger, embarrassment than joy? And if so, what do you need in order to create space for Joy to take the wheel sometimes?

Our joy is ours to create. This doesn't mean we deny the other emotions that need space to be felt. Allow your emotions to move through you and when you're ready, you access claim to your joy. When you're in doubt if there's room for joy, you make space for it. When you're in doubt if it's possible for joy to exist again, you prioritize it. Befriend joy as you would any other side to yourself. There's always room for more joy and happiness. You don't have to experience less of it as you get older, we only must learn how to make room for joy.