How to Find Solace in Being Alone
/Be patient.
It takes time to become comfortable with you. It takes time to get to know who you really are and understand what you really want, make decisions for yourself and feel at ease in the sweet and utter silence of your own presence.
Start small.
Go on walks alone. Use your headphones to bring music to your ears and soothe your brain from making you believe you’re a freak for walking alone. When you feel comfortable with that go to coffee shops, libraries and parks alone. Bring a book if you feel naked, but practice putting it down for periods of time to enjoy your surroundings, the people, the noises, and the conversations. Try the same coffee shop without your headphones. Sit at a large table, one in which you are forced to share so you meet someone new. You may even strike up a conversation you never thought you would have had. That’s what coffee shops are for, and without your headphones you’re introducing yourself to the world. You’ll find this becomes ritualistic -the walks, the coffee shop and park visits without books or headphones become meditation to you. Your aloneness begins developing into a form of salvation.
Next, take yourself to dinner.
Go some place you’ve always wanted to try. Somewhere you will indulge deeply and passionately in your food. Find yourself smiling because it’s all so delicious. Order desert to top the meal off and eat it slow as you look around and see that the world is too concerned with the conversations at their own table to judge you for being alone. Some may in fact be wishing they were you instead of involved in the social obligation they were in fact obliged to accept.
Go dancing.
If you go somewhere you’ve never been, somewhere where you won’t run into anyone you know, than it simply becomes your body on a floor moving to the beautiful sound of music. No one will notice you’re alone because you’re simply allowing your body to dwell in the soft musical instruments and moving freely like the body was made to move. A new conversation may even begin and you’ll have an epiphany to add to your creative well.
Embrace the loneliness.
When you are painlessly able to get through these movements, you’ll realize that lessons from kindergarten really are true. You are special. By embracing our loneliness we find a deep love for our own soul.
Acceptance
Instead of giving in to the societal fear of loneliness, accept it for all that it is. Allow your heart to be broken, and tears to fall, then move on. Help yourself heal by fulfilling that creative art form you’ve been neglecting and decorate your home with beautiful crafts that make you happy. Embracing the loneliness allows you to feel joy and happiness for the most important person in the world, yourself.
