The first wave of marriages happens in our early to mid-twenties. These are the people who have been dating since high school, college or just after. It includes the lovers who have stood the test of time, the homemakers, the “I know what I want in life” couples, and maternal/paternal individuals who want kids at an early age.
The second wave is the early-thirty-somethings. These are the people have yet to have found a soul shattering love, people who’ve had relationships in their twenties with people they thought they would marry, and the people who find it crucial to explore a deep sense of self before falling in love again. These people attend the first waves weddings solo, they are living with roommates and/or potentially picking up to travel the world.
People say there’s a pattern that occurs with both sets of waves and that it’s a revolving door. Apparently some from the first wave will find themselves getting a divorce, while others start having babies and begin life as first time parents. The second wave are potentially playing catch-up to get their life back on the track they believe it’s supposed to be on, or find themselves married to Mr.Wrong because they were in too much of a hurry to fit the timeline in their head.
In today’s world we are waiting longer and longer to get married, have families and settle down – we’re traveling the world before getting jobs, living in our parents home to save money, getting married later in life, and having babies way before a ring is even in the picture. We are no longer forcing ourselves to fit the linear path of societal expectations and yet at the same time it can be difficult to feel confident about where you stand in life if you don’t find yourself fitting into a societal wave. Or if you are in a wave but choosing not to make decisions that others see as coming next for you in life like buying that house in the suburbs or having babies.
Regardless of where you find yourself fitting in, watching everyone around you make these major life changes can cause restlessness and uneasiness about the path you have chosen.
Instead of living in fear that the waves are shaping and crashing without you and wrestling with the lack of understanding in your intention for the next phase of life – make yourself aware. Begin meditation classes, or perform your own act of serenity so your intention is put out into the universe. By doing so, even just saying it out loud – “I need guidance towards what’s next for me”– the solution will make itself present when you are ready to hear it.
Listening to your instinct gives you the real answers. Separate fact from fairy-tale and stay sane when you’re watching all your friends move forward in a wave. Whether you’re struggling with your next career move, coupled-up, single and looking, or single and just fine, thank you very much – putting your intention out there will give you peace with where life is supposed to be taking you.
By listening you’ll find the guidance you are looking for.