If you are not getting something you desire, if you are feeling stuck in an area of your life, the way through this block comes back to either that experience, thing was not meant to be yours; or; you need to love yourself more. Love the parts of you that might have been left behind somewhere along the way, love yourself enough that you innately believe in your worth, and be willing to see this let-down differently as a result.
I have been disappointed time and time again in my life. Whether it was a disappointment due to expectations that I had, or it was a disappointment because I allowed this experience to mean that I was no longer worthy of what I didn’t receive, I can draw a through line for almost every disappointment back to one of these two moments.
Let’s dive into an example, there was an opportunity on the table for me to work with this extremely exclusive company. It would have meant I was the weekly teacher for world-class executives, CEO’s, celebrities and more. I developed a pitch, I had the meetings, it went great, it was happening. Suddenly out of nowhere they didn’t get back to me. They stopped responding and I soon discovered that a good friend, colleague and fellow teacher of mine had instead been given the position. I was crushed. Months went by and I could not let my disappointment go. I couldn’t seem to drop my expectations that I had held. I made this disappointment about my worth as a teacher.
A year later, and yes it took me a whole year, I finally had light shine and I saw it clear as ever. This experience not only was never mine, never meant for me, I had also developed an entire story in my head around the place in my heart that had been most hurt by this. This wound inside me left me with lack of self-love, and I was meant to love myself deeper as a result of this disappointment instead of tear myself up over it. It was only when I saw that this experience was never meant for me to begin with, accepted that and let this truth soften my heart, that I could start filling in the story of worthiness I had created with my own love and belonging. I immediately felt a shift in my heart. In breathwork I could see the hole left by expectations lost and started filling it up with my own love. I could release my story of not being worthy of teaching, guiding these upper class individuals, and I let love win within me. My whole body softened, and my heart felt thrilled for the space this disappointment had created in my life for other opportunities that are meant for me.
When you are creating a story about your disappointments, your failures, love yourself. When you are berating yourself for a seemingly setback, ask yourself if this was ever truly meant to be yours, and then love yourself. When you are doubting your worth, questioning your belonging, love yourself in the place inside you that needs it most. Lay down for breathwork, ask for guidance to call in more love. Watch that love fill you, soften you and ultimately open you to a whole lot more! I find almost everything comes back to self-love. It’s layer after layer of learning to love yourself deeper. Where in your life today can you choose to see a disappointment as an opportunity to love yourself more fully?