What if you considered being enough? What if today you chose to see that in everything you do, in all that you create, in all that you accomplish and fail at, you are enough? And what if, being enough was your default rather than the life boat? What might that make possible for you?
When you lack self-love you choose, instinctually to believe the dark thoughts before the good ones. Following the instinct of the dark path happens so fast you almost don’t realize the good thoughts were ever even there to consider. This happens because you lack self-love. This happens because there are still parts of your body that make you feel green with envy, things you want, wounds, pain you feel that gets triggered. You must choose to get through the dark thoughts. Choose to not be captured by feelings of lacking, and instead consider the option of being enough. Just exactly as you are, today in this very moment, consider being enough.
I had a breakdown the other night. I still feel really good about how I moved through this breakdown, it only took about 30 minutes of my day, and I was able to let it go and continue on rather seamlessly, but it was a breakdown nonetheless. I’ve been working on this book proposal for 9 months now, actively writing the book at the same time for the last 3 years, and through it all I have not once felt like I was going crazy. It always felt like a lot of work. It always felt big, sometimes heavy, sometimes too much, but it never once made me feel like I wasn’t enough. Until the other night. The feeling washed over me like I had never experienced. I was stuck on finding a good word, a solid, all capturing word for this powerful section of my book. Something to describe this process I feel so passionate about and as I scoured through theseurs.com, and racked my fiance’s brain, I started to cry.
The feeling hit me so fast. What if I couldn’t come up with this word, was my book even worth writing if I couldn’t describe this? What does this say about me as a writer if I, the writer, couldn’t find the word for this? Did I waste the last 3 years of my life writing something that I can’t even describe? Were my words even original, did they matter? Was my book even worth it? The spiral was big, dark and as they almost always are all consuming. In that moment I decided to just stop. I looked out the window, and shook my head. Stop it I told myself. You know why you’re doing this, you’re doing this because you have to. Stop succumbing to self-doubt spirals I said to myself, you know your words, your story, your meditations are impactful. What’s more is that you have to do this because your body wants to get this out, however that happens, and whatever that means, your body wants this out and into the world so just stop it.
And truly just like that, I locked eyes with my fiance, took a few deep breaths, and started scrolling through the thesaurus again.
Consider this option today :: You are enough. When in doubt, you are enough. When confused, consider your thoughts as they stand, your direction, your clarity in this moment, is enough. When shameful, consider you, just exactly as you are, enough. You are enough. Your words matter, so stop, breathe, cut off the dark thoughts and love yourself into believing, feeling that you dear friends, are enough.