Play with Our Inner Child

Our to-do lists are important. They keep us on track, move us towards our goals, expanding us beyond our wildest dreams and usually, they help us get things done. But lately, my to-do list has become a block to my creativity. I have so much on this list, all of which are important, all of which will move my business forward, that I’m leaving no room for creative expression, for movement, for play. My inner child has been screaming at me in more ways than one and I was so blinded by my to-do list, I heard nothing. Well, let’s be honest here, clearly I CHOSE not to hear her. It felt unproductive listening to her. Taking a nap in the middle of the day, going to look at the ocean and reading a book, drawing, writing, dreaming up what my new apartment would look like, that would all take up too much time, and none of which would grant me the satisfaction of checking off a box on my list.

Today is the first day in weeks where I’ve begun to feel energized and I can’t help but notice that last night, and this morning, I let my inner child create. After a day of feeling the intensified emotions of everything going on astrologically and internally, last night I finally decided to tap into the energy of this Full Moon and Lunar Eclipse and use my hands. I began by remaking my vision board, getting really clear with my order for the Universe even leaving spaces for the things I don’t yet see and know will be given structure soon. Then I went to sleep, utterly exhausted and fully surrendering to the hours my body was asking for. No alarm, I awoke and pushed myself out to work out outside. Energized by the movement, I came back and finished putting together my desk space. I hung pictures I used to not know where they would go, and I created a working environment filled with flowers, color and magic that made my little girl smile from ear to ear.

Despite the amount of time it took, and despite the part of me that felt extremely insecure about how many hours I technically clocked in for today, once I was done and I sat down to write my emails and get the necessities done for the day, my body feels like a different body than it has been. It’s as if listening to my inner child, giving myself permission to exist with her fully for the last 3 hours gave the rest of my body permission to thrive in my work again.

I’m working on listening to her, my inner child, when she wants to play, stopping to play, when she wants to cry, letting her cry. It will take reminding, but knowing that I will thrive even more than I could imagine if I listen to her, if I give myself permission to JUST BE with her, is my motivation. That, and who am I to deny a girl who’s asking for a night of Disney movies?! As I write this I notice a soft pink haze in the skyline, and my girl’s let me know she’s quite pleased as pink is her favorite color. Ew, my mind thinks, I am so not a pink person. But I guess PINK it will be for you sweet girl.

Avenue of the Unknown

When the path ahead, the answers, are not so clear, your body gets overwhelmed by fear, angst and other negative emotions. We then become paralyzed by fear of this unknown path and end up sitting in the space of no action because that is way more comfortable than diving into the avenue of the unknown.

But what if we took some sizeable step into that path instead? What if, even if we couldn’t see where it was leading, we took some type of step, the step that feels right for right now? Would we fall into the big dark black abyss? Maybe. Would we die? Likely not.

It’s okay not to know exactly what to do right now. It’s okay to guess at what that next step might be. You’re probably not going to die with whatever step you do end up taking, and when you take a manageable step towards something, even if you don’t know what that something may be, you’re putting yourself out there to be in flow with the Universe. You’re showing the world, instead of just telling it, that you are ready to manifest change. Manageable can be anything that pushes you outside your comfort zone, but doesn’t have to be as dramatic as the end result. If you’re looking for a new job, it could be beginning the search in fields that interest you, it doesn’t have to mean quitting your day-job right now. If you’re wanting a change in location but moving terrifies you, it could mean booking a trip to a city that interests you and trying to set up a few interviews while you’re there. You’re throwing things out there, just to see what may stick. All we have to do is take a small step towards that manifestation, and the Universe will be by your side, supporting you.

If we instead stay hidden in the safety of our own shadow, we block the Universe out. It doesn’t have a way to help us. It can’t push you into action, you have to do something to show you’re going to take it seriously, to show the Universe that you want to work with the it, be friends with, and flow through life happier than you were before. I promise you the Universe wants to help you. There is a flow there, just waiting for you to jump in, but there is nothing the Universe can do to help throw you into the flow if you aren’t willing to take a step towards it.
Ask the Universe questions to help you better understand your path, where you are right now. Be open to the ways in which the Universe will respond to you. Once you open yourself up to the possibility that the Universe is your friend, once you cultivate an appreciation for the flow of the Universe and jump right now, that’s when you really start living.
Let’s go, jump in, your life is waiting to be lived.

Forgiveness

We all have the ability to forgive.

The ability to feel forgiveness in your soul and allow your body to accept forgiveness is a strength not a weakness. When you accept forgiveness you set yourself free. You liberate your body, making room for other life to enter – happy life, joyous life, magical life can take the space in your body instead of the non-forgiving grudge that was taking over before.

When you forgive that doesn’t mean the pain goes away. That is okay. Choose forgiveness anyway because your heart, your body, doesn’t want to live in that pain, or be defined by that pain. And you don’t have to be. When you choose forgiveness you are choosing love. You are choosing you and your own happiness above all else. The pain can be worked through, and little by little you will release the pain of your experience and you will see beauty again. The beauty is allowed to shine through when you are not clouded by the tight grasp you have on your anger.

I know, trust me, I understand. Something happened to you that is unforgiveable. But what if you chose to forgive anyway? What if you choose forgiveness and your life moves forward positively, in sync with the Universe because you’re not allowing the pain, the anger, the unforgiving nature to define you anymore?

Choose LOVE.

Choose YOU.

Forgive and watch your heart open to a lighter, brighter more colorful and magical world.

The Good, the Shedding and the Insights of Breathwork

Breathwork has always been transformative for me. Between breaking down emotional barriers, moving and releasing, stuck negative energies, and receiving intuitive messages, the personal growth alone has transformed me. Growth like this can often times be sad. You are shedding a part of who you who has always been there, and it can be difficult to say goodbye to that person. At the same time, it’s also beautiful because you’re accepting a future self - a version of you that you don’t quite know yet but are growing into.

There are days where you’re stuck in the emotional turmoil or fear of the unknown and it can be difficult to feel or see the beauty in your growth. It can be difficult to see what is next. On these days, the days where I feel a stronger sense of sadness or frustration and angst saying goodbye to an old self, I work hard to acknowledge myself. A dear friend taught me this - Acknowledge yourself for something you did great that day, that week, or something you’re proud of yourself for. Take the time to acknowledge something positive about you. I find that this self-acknowledgement has the capacity to remind me of my own wondrous and magical self.

On the days I can feel myself fully embracing and stepping into the new me, I feel invigorated, loved and supported by myself and everyone around me. It is typically on these days that I have receive messages. The messages come in various forms, sometimes magical, or storytelling, and oftentimes they are undecipherable. When I struggle understanding something, I write it down immediately following the message. The visions typically come to me in snippets, quick stories or scenarios, and I’m sure to write them down exactly as what I remember.

The owner of the dolls was not an attractive by societal standards type of woman. She had dark features, olive skin and was shorter than 5 foot. She walked around the town, every town at some point, with a smile on her face. She seemed to be smiling joyously at the world around her no matter what was happening. That was the most interesting and beautiful thing about her – her joy.  So when I saw her with her dolls I wasn’t scared, or turned away by her outward unattractiveness. I was instead drawn in closer to her magnetic joy. Being shown her dolls brought me peace. I understood why immediately when she held them together, one doll pressing into the back of the other doll, hair beautifully mixing together in a melting pot kind of way. They were both her, not parts of one and parts of the other, but both of the dolls were an exact representation of who she was. The beauty lies in her confident joy, the ability to strongly proclaim the connection she has with both dolls, the innate characteristics of the dolls that are her. I left our encounter feeling peaceful and joyous through the contagiousness that was her own. I am thankful to the Universe for bringing her to me and even more thankful that she will bring her message onto others.

You can be defined by any standards you want to be defined by.

This is the majestic thing about Breathwork. Through all the growth, the shedding, and the insights, you’re constantly learning new things about yourself. I am excited about this one in particular, albeit I don’t have understanding into it’s power quite yet.

I have eyes that can see inwards. My eyes can see inwards, they can see inside my own body. When I’m looking out at the world around me, even through physically closed eyes, there’s lightness, a mellow, day-time lightness to all the visions I see. When I’m looking inside myself, inside my own body, there is a darkness to all the visions. I watched everything happening inside my body today, analyzed it, understood it energetically and then I left, and my eyes opeedn to the outside world. I never saw organs, or blood pumping through, or yawns happening, just saw the energy flow and the attitude that was inside me. There was nothing scary about this new superpower, it felt really good to be able to see inside myself, comfortably, understandably. 

The second time this power came to be, I saw a small, luminous purple light pop into my head, flashing lightly before my eyes. Then the dark tint came over my eyes and I was again seeing inside my body. This had been releasing anger and impatience energies. I had been crying, frustrated, shaking, and yet when I looked inside, I saw that I really am okay. My insides are all ok, they know I’m doing the work to release what I need to, and my body is grateful for that.

Thank you eyes seeing inwards.

Breathwork always leaves me feeling clearer, more level-headed, slightly stronger, and with a bigger heart. When visions come to me, it’s the clearest I’ve ever been, the most open-hearted I’ve ever felt and the most willing to change I will ever be.  Every time I work with the breath for me, it is different. Being open to the opportunities, to the growth, accepting the messages for what they are and trusting in the process is the most important thing. It allows you to go deeper than ever before, and connect more methodically with the flow of the Universe.

Hello Fear...

You are welcome to join me but you will not be driving.

Love, 
Jenna Michelle

As I continue working on my breathwork journey, developing my at home practice, joining and starting my own classes and workshops in LA and powering through my self-test of a 30 day breathwork challenge, my self–awareness has grown significantly. The most important element to share is as I go through my own personal healing with breathwork, I realize that I have the power to choose love, and I do choose love. 

I choose not to be defined by my stories while also accepting that I still feel some of the pain that the stories have left me with. Feeling that pain doesn’t mean it defines me. It only means, I accept that the pain is there, and I am actively working on releasing that pain from my body through a consistent breathwork practice, that allows my body to move the stuck negative filled entities.

These entities are strong energies and have stood in my body confidently for years now believing that they rule me. They are pain, fear, even self-loathing sometimes. They drive from a fear-based perspective, not from a critical thought or loving perspective. They are truly only there for self-protection, but they don’t know that. They think they are doing the right thing, filling my body up with all this “self-protection”. I am aware of that, I am aware of them.

I recognize you fear based entities and I do appreciate the defense mechanism you are creating for me so that I don’t get hurt, but the truth is, getting hurt is a part of life. I don’t want to be driven by this fear you’ve instilled in me and I am no longer giving you that power. This doesn’t mean I don’t hear you. This doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate your work within my body to remind me of what I have been through. That is a part of who I am. You can be a part of who I am too, a story from my past, and I can and will, move on without being defined by you.

Soon enough, I will begin to release the pain and start letting go of these entities. It won’t happen all at once, it will take time, effort and significant diligence, but it can be done. It will be done. Then one day, the entities will move on, they will disperse and make room for new life inside my body.

Until that day comes when they leave me for good, I can make the conscious decision to choose a life driven by my creativity, by my inspiration, by my love. It’s OK that I still feel the pain from my stories, some days stronger than others. I recognize that it will take time for this pain to subside, for this sadness dissolve. I will say hello to it some days, be aware of it and then choose love.

I choose to be driven by my love for the world, my love for kindness, for truth. I choose to live my life from my most natural state, love, and I choose to make this choice every single day. For that, thank you Universe. I can feel you speaking to me, giving me guidance forward to follow my truest and highest self. Knowing that you’re there, that you have my back no matter what, is the best feeling in the world. That’s how I can thank fear for being there, for it’s support, but no thank you because I am choosing love. So see you later fear, you will not be driving me anymore.

Choose Love

Upon returning from an amazing journey in New Mexico with my new found breathwork family, people that understand my soul upon first connections, I realize how much growth can happen in just a short week. This Universe has given me a purpose in life. I may not always remember what it is, I may fall onto side paths that take me in a slightly different directions, but I know now that I am destined for more.

I felt the need to bring understanding and light to breathwork meditation immediately following my first experience. The message was urgent, eminent, and absolute – Bring this practice to the world.

Wanting to save the world is not a new sentiment amongst millenials or even matured millenials as I call myself being on the outskirts of this generation. And talking the talk and walking the walk are vastly different experiences. But if I want to live my life’s purpose and live a fulfilled life, this is the time.

The power of breathwork is life changing. If everyone in the world practiced this, if everyone in the world allowed themselves to let their guard down, to fight through their resistance to change, to push themselves to grow and become a better person, the world would be a better place. It would be saved, from our hate, from our pain, saved from ourselves. Can you imagine what the world would be like if we all came from a place of love?

Love - Our natural state. The essence of our being. The state of mind we are supposed to live in. Choose love and we will be freed from our stories. Choose love and we will no longer be chained to our pain, anger, or sadness. Choose love and we will feel liberated by the endless possibilities the Universe is offering.

“Someone just told me to leave all my sorrows, if that is true I don’t know who to be.” Sienabo Sey. Let’s leave all our sorrows and see who we have the power to become.

Live in love and watch life change right before your own eyes.

Photo By:   Daniella Matutes

Photo By: Daniella Matutes

Breathwork

Bioenergetic breathing is a form of meditation. It is a specific breathing exercise that creates a heightened sense of awareness inwards, allowing your focus to be taken away from the neurological system. Because the technique requires your full attention, complete and utter focus, you’re constantly focusing on the breath and are unable to get distracted by words, thoughts, fears or anxieties. The benefits of such pure, unexpected focus, brings about clarity from hard decisions, clarity on your true self, your real dreams, it releases any inner pain and opens your heart allowing you to comfortably be with just exactly who you are. There is no other practice, to my knowledge, no other experience you can have on this earth (without mind-altering drugs) that can seamlessly connect your spiritual and physical beings.

Then, once you’ve cried to cry, shed the pain, the negativity, fears and anxieties away, you’re left with nothing but your vulnerable, open, big loving heart. Here I’ve set out explaining this practice and it’s glorious benefits. I hope by the end of this, you are encouraged to try a class because we all deserve to have this life changing experience.

The Technique.

This breathing technique keeps your focus so acutely, that there is no room for anything else to enter. So if you’re one of those people who has a hard time staying quiet, or can’t get your mind to stop making grocery lists, this is for you. If you’re the type of person who wants to feel a release, this is for you. If you are the type of human who wants to grow as a person, this is for you.

You begin with one sharp breath through your mouth while protruding your stomach. Then take a sharp breath through your mouth from your chest. Finally, one quick sharp release of the breath, again through your mouth. Repeat. I don’t believe speed matters. Some days I start out fast, some days I follow the flow and energy of the class around me.

The Release

Our guide started the class by reminding us that we were in a safe place. He said, weird things would likely happen to our bodies, odd sensations, tingling, potentially cramped hands, feet, face. No matter what, we were to remember, and he would remind us that we were safe and to let our bodies do what felt natural to them.

I have had a number of different experiences varying from a permanently cramped face, and lips pursed so tightly it felt like nothing would ever let them release. My fingers have felt like they were asleep but not in the painful way, in an almost orgasmic kind of way. My feet and face tingle too, my body was tense, and my shoulders sometimes hurt for awhile after class from being clenched together. My face is almost always soaking wet. I usually cannot stop crying, nor do I know what I am crying over. I didn’t have time to focus on the why’s and nor does it ever feel like it even matters. The thought of what and why is irrelevant, and now after a few different experiences with breath work, it always feels irrelevant after every class. Tears need to be shed so they are. Your body craves release, no matter what it is releasing, and the tears will come, if not in your first class, one day.  

The Love

Every teacher adapts a form of breath work that they believe in and crave teaching. After just 5 songs of this (20 minutes of breathing), after endless tears flowing, after receiving a tissue, this instructor brings the class through a self-love exercise. You are instructed to reach out with one hand in front of you. Then, think of a memory that fills you with love. Feel the memory. Live in the memory. Then grab the memory and place it over your heart. Place the memory through the door to your heart and feel your heart physically grow three times its size. It’s beating faster now and you can feel nothing but your heart. Put your other hand over the hand that placed it in your heart and feel the love. Then, think of a memory that fills you with laughter. Feel the memory. Live in the memory. The room might become filled with physical laughter. Grab that memory and place it over your heart, watch it fill your already too big heart with laughter. Next, think of a memory when you were proud of yourself. Feel it, live it and place it in your heart. Think of something you love about yourself. Feel it, see it and place it in your heart. Watch your heart overflow with love and gratitude into the rest of your body. My body became physically warm, the tingling from the breath work was mostly gone by then and my whole body was just filled with warmth. I could feel these memories bleeding throughout my every orifice; love and laughter were flowing through me stronger than anything I’ve ever felt.

Raw

You’re emotionally naked. Naked and not at all afraid because you’ve already let it all go. You have already pushed any negativity, self-doubting, stupidity, ugliness or lack of respecting thoughts out of your body. Now you get to sit here vulnerably with nothing but exactly who you truly are, the moments you love most and the memories you hold dearest. You are left with your most authentic emotion, your big loving heart. You are sitting there with pure LOVE. Walking away from this my heart felt like it could explode from love. I’m not sure I’ve ever allowed myself to feel this much love and release of all that bogs you down from being your truest self. This is without a doubt, the best part of breath work. It took awhile to come out of the physical state bioenergetic breathing put me, and yet a part of me never wanted to come out of it.

After

My favorite thing so far is that I felt the after-effects for the rest of that evening and into the following day. It was almost 24 hours of pure, authentic me existing in the world. This is something I had personally been looking for. A meditation that I could feel the affects of for hours to come following my moment of silence. A meditation that lasted me to the next moment. My practice of 10 minutes of morning meditation was not doing that for me, but bioenergetic breathing is.

I felt exhausted, and relieved at the same time. I felt complete drained of any emotion, thought, or experience and yet overflowing with love, happiness and gratitude. It’s the happiest I think I have ever felt.

Since my first experience in breath work I have been going back to that class, twice a week almost exactly now. I love it. It still feels like the best form of therapy you could ever receive, it’s like a massive immersion into your deepest fears, what causes your tears and anxieties all while being able to just naturally let them out before moving on.

I have learned that one of, if not the single most important element is to remember to go into each experience as though it’s your first time. No expectations. No pre-conceived notions, no personal or external judging of what happens around you. Just genuine child-like wonder for what today’s class will bring. If you leave your expectations at the door, you’ll have a more healing experience because opportunities will come to you that you might not have been open to in the past. You have the chance to experience things you didn’t know was possible, but only if you walk into each session with a drive for change, an interest in growth and an open mind to do whatever it takes to live a peaceful and balanced life.