Yesterday, the final day of Mercury Retrograde, a New Moon underway and no current midlife identity crisis, or upheaval in the midst, I could not for the life of me understand why I was consumed with so much unruliness. I still don’t entirely understand it, and yet this morning, just a merely 24 hours later, my body feels an extremely heightened sense of groundedness, open and connectedness to the Universe. I feel massively different than where I was yesterday morning and all I did over this last day was - I made time for me.
I made time for me and I did so in a completely different way than I typically do. I didn’t choose to spend time by the water with a good book, likely a self-help book rather than what for me feels almost entirely indulgent, a fiction book. I didn’t spend my time writing or working on my book. I didn’t spend time with my love, connecting deeper on truths about this life. Instead, I spent time with my hands creating.
I had signed up for this workshop with HER SOCIAL CLUB almost a month prior thinking it would be a fun, creative day, but more than that, that it was something I needed to do for work. I would be networking with other like-minded, powerful ladies, and knowing the amount of magic I’ve had come from those experiences before, I figured if nothing else, I would meet a few more empowered women in Los Angeles.
The artist Mimi Haddon began the day by discussing how as a society, we are no longer using our hands. We use our hands for talking, for typing, for working, but it’s become a rare commodity putting our hands to work creating. We were given a bunch of driftwood, colored yard, ropes, shown how to tie certain types of knots that would hold, and told to get after it. I’m a crafter, always have been. I’ve been making scrapbooks since I was a teenager and we used to print off all our photos for the memory banks, I’ve created and experimented in the kitchen with baked goods, quiches, you name it, I’ve crafted dream catchers for friends and family members as gifts, and painted using many different forms, materials and equipment including newspapers, stencils, free-hand and more.
As I was leaving this magnificent day I realized it has been over a year since I’ve opened any of my crafting materials. The last time my craft boxes were opened they were sprawled out on the living room floor at one in the morning and I was having a mental breakdown because we had just moved in, and I had no place to put any of my crafting materials. One whole year went by without me using my hands, something I’ve always loved to do and I never even realized it.
Don’t get me wrong I love all of the things I have done this last year. I love clean eating I have doven into, I love the work I’ve done on my book, and the healing writing I’ve done expressing my voice and my traumas, I love the business I’ve developed, the people I’ve met and the creative sessions I lead with my private clients and in group settings, but I had lost the joy in making things with my hands and as result lost inspiration and drive from my life that I couldn’t even see was missing.
As I sit here able to free-flow write this post with ease, excited about diving into my book again, I can’t help but smile when I look back on Friday. I was forcing myself to put pen to paper, didn’t feel I had anything to say and was completely drained from the week. A drastic difference from what I’m used to given I’m typically energized by my work, I’m reminded of the importance of reconnecting with my humanity in relation to the physical world. Using my hands, creating, opening, living creates a strengthened tangible bond between me and the Universe. It separates me from the digital world if only for a brief moment and creates more understanding of who I am as a human being in this world, of who we are and the purpose behind all the breathing moments.
With this New Moon energy we’re working with I invite you to explore what new beginnings are you in need of reconnecting with? What past creations do you feel the drive to reconnect with? What creativity are you drawn to but have never explored before? What needs to be expressed, and do you need to use expression differently than you’ve done before? What could this open up for you in your life?
I have always loved the Ben Harper song “With My Own Two Hands”, today it holds completely different to me than it has over the years...
"I can change the world, with my own two hands -- Make a better place, with my own two hands -- Make a kinder place, oh with my, oh with my own two hands -- With my own, with my own two hands -- With my own, with my own two hands -- I can make peace on earth, with my own two hands -- And I can clean up the earth, oh with my own two hands -- And I can reach out to you, with my own two hands -- With my own, with my own two hands" - Ben Harper